


To Forgive or Not To Forgive

by Bruhhhhhhhhhh



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And you too marissa, Forgiveness?nah, No Starker in my house, No non-con between tony and peter, Past Rape/Non-con, fuck you skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bruhhhhhhhhhh/pseuds/Bruhhhhhhhhhh
Summary: After a therapy sessions Peter is left wondering if he should forgive Skip for what he did to Peter when he was young, he confides in Tony.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 87





	To Forgive or Not To Forgive

**Author's Note:**

> A couple background things. In my version/memory of what I've read, Skip Westcott was Peter's babysitter when he was younger. When Peter was nine, Skip sexually assaulted Peter.  
> In my version, Tony is aware of this (he did some digging into Peter's past and found trial documents convicting Skip Westcott of Rape of a Minor, Peter Parker. 
> 
> Notes at the end have more of my thoughts on forgiveness if you feel like reading more. And I would love feedback, even if it's criticism that's cool too!

“Peter, why don’t we talk about Skip? I know that things got a little heated during our last session but I think that means it is something we really should talk about. What do you think?” His therapist gently questions.

“I just don’t understand why we have to, I want to forget him and move on. It’s been six years now and I have wasted enough energy over him.” Peter mutters bitterly, they’ve had this talk multiple times now and he was sick of it. He watches his therapist grit her teeth the slightest bit in irritation, it would have been an unnoticeable action if it weren’t for his sensitive senses.

“I just think it is necessary to work this out together, Peter. You talk about moving on yet you still hold on to your anger. Do you think you can move forward with that anger bottled up?” She prods him. He rolls his eyes.

“Not to be rude Marissa, but I am sick of talking about him. But frankly what is pissing me off more is that fact that you keep implying that I have to just accept what happened to me and not be angry about it! That I’m supposed to just forgive my rapist, that disgusting pedophile, because it’ll ‘make me feel better’. Yeah, bullshit.” Peter spit heatedly. Marissa stares back at him in understanding.

“I do not mean to imply that, Peter. My apologies if I was not clear enough. You have every right to be angry, I just do not want that anger to shape your outlook on life, it isn’t healthy.” She explains.

“Oh but acting like it’s totally okay that I was raped, to be okay with what happened, is healthy? Your saying my anger isn’t healthy? Seriously? Am I just supposed to be happy, indifferent, or okay with what happened? What exactly are you saying here.” Peter argues incredulously.

“That is not what I meant, Peter. Maybe it’s best we talk about something else and touch upon this another time.” Marissa pauses, “How is your internship going?” She questions. Peter sighs and gives a generic response.

**  
  
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Tony side eyes Peter, taking note of his stiff posture and pissed off expression.

“Who pissed in your cereal today, kid?” Tony jokingly asks with a smile. Peter looks at him, not amused.

“I had another session with Marissa earlier.” Peter confesses, before looking back down and tinkering with the object in his hands. 

“Wanna talk about it or should I leave you alone for now?” Tony asks as he tossed a glowing sphere from hand to hand. Peter studies Tony for a little while, debating on whether or not he really wants to talk about this with Tony.

“I just, I want to feel okay and every time I start to think I am, Marissa makes me feel like I’m back at square one. Like I haven’t made any progress, and it annoys me. And makes me feel shitty.” Peter sighs. Tony nods, silent for a moment as he wondered how to approach the subject of therapy, Marissa, and Skip . 

“Do you think you’ve made progress?” Tony asks.

“I’d like to think so.” Peter murmurs.

“What does Marissa say that makes you think you haven’t?” Tony questions.

“She keeps bringing up my anger towards Skip. She keeps asking me if I can move on if I’m still angry. And I think I get where she’s coming from, but I think I can still be angry and move on at the same time. She doesn’t seem to agree.” Peter explains.

“You have every right to be angry, Peter. I’d be concerned if you weren’t, honestly. And from a therapists point of view, I understand why she is saying what she is saying. I’m sure she has been taught that holding onto anger only holds you back and she is trying to help you let go of yours on your own terms. But I don’t think she understands that her way of thinking is not universal. What works for others might not work for you. And I don’t think you should stop being angry. A person who had power over you, a person who was supposed to take care of you, betrayed you in the worst way possible and you never have to ‘be okay’ with that. It is okay to be angry.” Tony reassures the young boy.

“That’s what I thought too.” Peter agrees.

“Do you think I should forgive him though? I don’t think I can, but Marissa has brought that up too. That I can only truly move on when I have accepted what happened and can forgive.” Peter quietly asks.

“I think it’s a bunch of bullshit to forgive a rapist, Peter. No matter what your shitty therapist says.” Tony says hotly.

“Forgiveness is a complex topic even though people make it sound so simple. Not to get too technical on you Petey, but to forgive means to let go of anger or resentment towards a person for their actions or words done or said to you. Forgiving does not mean you excuse or condone the actions done to you, it means you have stopped feeling anger or resentment towards the person who hurt you even if their actions hurt you or continue to hurt you. It is a complex thing because for many people it is difficult to know if you still feel anger towards only the person, only the actions, or both.” Tony says. Peter looks at him, digesting his words and frowning.

“How can someone forgive the person but not the action? Don’t those intertwine?” Peter questions.

“I guess that is largely up to someone’s interpretation of forgiveness. I personally agree with you, forgiveness seems to be intertwined with excusing someone's actions. Although people say that to forgive someone, you do not need to condone their actions, I feel the point still stands that partially excusing the action plays a part in forgiving someone. To let go of anger for someone, you have to accept what they did and somehow make yourself okay with it.” Tony explains. Peter nods and looks back down to his work table, mindlessly fiddling with his project. Tony can see his mind is miles away.

“Petey, I know Marissa says it is necessary to let go of your anger but I want you to know you don't have to do anything you do not want to. In the case of this forgiveness business, there are varying levels of cause and effect that need to be understood, and context is everything. It is one thing to forgive a friend for stealing from you, it is another to forgive a rapist. Indescribable levels of trust were broken for you, what Skip did was horrible.” Tony choked up, god it was so horrible to talk about that horrid man.

“If you think it would help you to let go of your anger towards him, then more power to you. If you don’t think you can let go of your anger, to forgive, then more power to you. It is up to you, don't let others tell you what is best for you. You know what is best, and if at the moment you’re not quite sure then you will learn. Maybe someday you can forgive him, and maybe you never will. And that is  completely fine. It is totally up to you.” Tony reassures Peter, drawing him into a gentle hug.

“I don’t think I can, I don’t think I will ever forgive him for what he did to me.” Peter confesses through choked sobs. 

“And that is okay.” Tony hugs Peter tighter, wishing he could will away Peter’s hurt and pain.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know why I wrote this. It was sort of just venting after I saw a post on Instagram saying it was okay to not forgive someone. In the comments a lot of people said that others were confusing forgiveness and reconciliation. And that forgiving someone does not mean you forgive the action/harm done to you. 
> 
> It made me re-assess my view of forgiveness. And to me forgiveness is intertwined with excusing the action done to you. Like I know people say you can forgive (let go of anger) the person and not forgive (let go of anger) the actions, but to me that seems really hard. I can understand that way of thinking with petty stuff, but when it comes to intense topics like rape, abuse, and violence I just don't understand why it would be better to forgive.
> 
> Like personally, I don't see how anyone could forgive someone for abuse in any way. How can you just not be angry at someone for doing horrible things to you, you don't have to let it control your life and destroy you but I also think there is a healthy level of anger that everyone has the right to feel without feeling pressured to forgive. Why should someone stop feeling anger towards their abuse, to me that seems like resignation to that fact that your're being abused. like you should never feel okay/at peace with being abused. (Again, don't let anger control you but it is healthy to feel anger)
> 
> Anyways, i'm rambling so I'll stop now. Also, please don't feel like i'm pressing my views on you, you totally have the right to feel whatever way you want about this topic, this is simply my point of view.


End file.
